In Bloom

IT HASN’T BEEN AN EASY JOURNEY SO FAR FOR DREAM STATE AND CJ GILPIN, BUT WITHOUT THAT JOURNEY, THEIR NEW ALBUM ‘PRIMROSE PATH’ WOULDN’T BE THE PIECE OF ART IT IS. THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW FACING HER DEMONS HEAD-ON HAS HELPED TO PRODUCE ONE OF THE YEAR’S MOST COMPELLING DEBUTS.

- Jack Rogers

Around this time last year, CJ Gilpin realised things had to change.

Dream State were three weeks into a grueling European tour supporting The Amity Affliction, the longest stretch of dates the band had committed to in their career thus far. A mix of homesickness, pressure to succeed following the release and popularity of their ‘Recovery’ EP earlier in the year and writer’s block when trying to pen its follow-up had hit CJ harder than she expected, and emotions she thought she’d quelled started to sprout up inside of her once more.

“You start to realise that you may not be as over your own demons as you think,” remembers the vocalist. “I thought I’d found and made peace with them, but then they started showing up in different forms. That’s when I started using drinking as a crutch.”

“It was my way of dealing with rejection and pressure and letting everyone down. You end up self-harming in that way because you would rather do that than face up to the reality of things,” she explains.

Falling into a routine of recovering from the previous night’s hangover before starting the whole process all over again when they arrived in a new city, CJ let the drink enfold her despite it triggering a whole new set of unresolved emotions. One morning, she knew something had to give. She knew she had to kick the habit. “I woke up feeling like crap. I looked in the mirror and saw the effects that those drinks had had on my face and skin. How I was feeling internally was definitely manifesting out into the world through me. I just felt dark. My heart was aching, my body was aching and I felt rough.” She takes a moment to collect her thoughts.