Snore Or Less

A New Year resolution to give up snoring is easier to make than to keep.

- Greg Dixon

Though I write this in December, I’m pretty sure that by the time you read it, I’ll have already broken my only New Year resolution. You see, I have promised myself I’ll give up snoring.

Sadly, even my feeble powers of prognostication can detect that my future self will fail at this. That means by now – which is to say by the time you read this – someone, who shall remain nameless, and possibly sleepless, has informed me that, although I had resolved to give up snoring and had believed I’d given up snoring, I have not given it up at all and, consequently, have been sawing away with loud abandon for all of 2019, albeit the year only a week or so old.

This is the trouble with New Year resolutions. They’re easily made after several glasses of something with hints of grapefruit and bold, grassy notes, and then easily broken, especially when sleeping off several glasses of something with hints of grapefruit, etc, while lying on your back with your mouth open.

And so another year will begin in disappointment.