Former Exeter hooker Neil Clark has shone a disturbing light on the post-rugby mental trauma he is suffering that led him to the brink of suicide two years ago.
Clark, player of the year for Chiefs during their historic 2009/10 Championship-winning campaign, helped establish the club in the Premiership before heading for a French payday at Oyonnax in 2013, only for a neck injury to end his career.
Clark reveals how he has struggled with life after rugby and the depths to which he sank amid the constant pain he still endures as a result of the countless injuries and operations he suffered during 17 years as a professional.
At a time when his former side have scaled the heights by becoming European champions for the first time, the 39-year-old hopes telling his harrowing story now will inspire younger players to take more control of their own destinies and avoid the traps he fell into.
Clark, who had to quit in 2015, told The Rugby Paper: “It’s not all doom and gloom, but from a very personal perspective, it’s not been a great five years. Rugby’s a fantastic game and I’m grateful for the opportunities, but sometimes I hate how rugby left me.
“I had something like 15 injury operations – two ACLs, two ankles, four shoulder repairs, pins in my thumb, two surgeries on my neck among them – and I’ve got a head full of scars and spinal fluid in my neck. Some days I feel completely debilitated and can’t even get out of bed or put my socks on, so you can imagine how humiliating that feels.
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Unbeaten Lymm put the Tykes on a leash
LYMM maintained their unbeaten start to the campaign, taking the major scalp of Leeds Tykes and ending the visitors' unblemished start.
Dramatic late win boosts leaders
A LAST-minute converted try saw Tonbridge Juddians snatch victory from the jaws of defeat at Barnes.
England need to be more consistent
I WAS at last week's game against the All Blacks and as much as I enjoyed my first visit to the stadium since the Six Nations, I couldn't help noticing a different attitude of those in control of the stadium's notification system which puts out messages to the crowd.
Cuthbert: Wales have to deliver
ALEX Cuthbert says the pressure on Wales is huge ahead of their opening Autumn Nations Series game against Fiji today.
Anyanwu heads the list of star attractions
TOP 14 transfer speculation is always thoroughly entertaining, and this season has so far been no exception.
Goldthorp can challenge Kildunne for No.15 spot
LOUGHBOROUGH Lightning head coach Nathan Smith is backing Fran Goldthorp to compete with Ellie Kildunne, right, for England's No.15 jersey.
Four-try David calls the shots for Bears
MILLIE David helped Bristol blow Leicester away after scoring four of their 10 tries at Welford Road.
Scott-Young keen to follow his father
TYPICAL of most Australians, Scott-Young Angus has fairly sunny disposition and the loose forward is confident that Saints can soon start to turn things around on the road.
When value for money is not part of the deal
ENGLAND'S bench strategy against New Zealand - goodbye \"bomb squad\", hello \"squib squad\"-has been investigated, psychoanalysed, convicted on all charges and mercilessly sentenced by the entire rugby world and its maiden aunt, so there is no earthly point in returning to the scene of the crime.
'I want to prove my worth to Bath'
OUT-OF-FAVOUR winger RuBath aridh McConnochie is hoping to use the Premiership Cup to lay down a challenge to Johann van Graan and make his selection claims impossible to ignore.
