Better bonding and bitter goodbyes: Why this Mother's Day is different

Some have been distanced by geography, others thrown closer by circumstances, and those who’ve lost their mums feel a gaping void. Sunday Times charts connections lost and found

- Mohua Das

Still making memories, but on video calls

Indrajit De | 52, London Mom Indrani | 85, Kolkata

Having lived on the other side of the world for almost 12 years now, one would think not seeing my mother for long stretches of time was something I was used to. Turns out, that practice hasn’t made the pandemic-induced separation any easier. I never quite imagined in the beginning, when this virus made headlines, that it would change our connections so dramatically. After I lost my father in 2015, I always made sure I took a detour to Kolkata on my business trips to India. That way I could visit her at least twice a year apart from the annual summer holidays. But last March saw all my travels for the year cancelled, and also meant I wouldn’t get to meet my mother.

But the physical distance meant that I learnt to focus on the bond I have with her. If earlier I’d call her twice a day, now I call her four times and it’s not just a check-in to see if things are fine. We’ve transitioned to video calls where I take her on a walk around the house, show her the flowers and vegetables growing in our garden, and keep her perched on the shelf when we’re cooking a meal to give her a sense that we’re all together in the same space. Of course, there are the pitfalls of a video call. When she spots a beard or if my hair is too long, she’ll give me an earful.