You waited for that bundle of joy to be in your arms and when the moment came you could not stop those tears rolling down your cheeks. Of course, the tears were of joy. As time passed the joy seemed to turn into stress, frustration, anxiety, guilty. What went wrong, when and why? Can this be fixed? Read on.
1. Have a support network
I went to a friend’s house to congratulate her on being blessed with a baby boy. The boy was six months old by then. A very cute, happy, healthy and active baby. But I am afraid I could not use the same adjectives for my friend!I was taken aback on seeing her.
She was tired, exhausted, with black circles under her eyes, unkempt hair and looked like a zombie. I told her on a lighter note, “What have you done to yourself? Why don’t you take something?” (Remember that advertisement?... “Yeh Kya Haal Bana Rakha Hai? Kuch Lete Kyon Nahi?”)
I observed that she had all the support of maids, her in-laws and her husband too. But she was not ready to let go of the command from her hands. She wanted to do everything on her own. It seemed that she did not trust anyone else when it came her baby. She was not ready to delegate even small tasks such as changing the nappies, leave alone giving the baby to his grandparents or maid so that she gets to relax a bit and have some time for herself.
This is what happens to most first-time moms and dads. They think of parenting as a challenge and consequently feel the burden. I understand and respect the feelings and emotions of a mother that she wants to do everything for her child. However, what she must also understand is that she is a human at the end of the day and will need to regain her energy and calmness to be able to take better care of her child.
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