The aroused moaning of the prehistoric ape I’m trying to bang is getting to be a bit much. She’s really into this backrub I’m giving her, but I’m having trouble feeling the mood myself. We’re squatting in the freezing rain, my leg is broken, I have an orphaned toddler clinging to my back, and another member of my clan is enthusiastically picking his nose in my sightline. It’s not even a tiny bit romantic, but hey – I’m trying to save our species.
Listening to an ape get horny as I rub her hairy back isn’t the only thing I’m not keen on in third-person survival game Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey. It begins 10 million years in the past with you controlling the leader of a small clan of hominids – the distant precursors to human beings that eventually evolved, invented computers, developed games about ancient hominids, and wrote reviews about them. Like evolution itself, Ancestors is slow, often uneventful, and a frequently frustrating struggle.
MONKEYSHINES
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