I’ve changed. I’m not the leader I once was. In my 20s I was focused on my PURPOSE.
My goal was to discover why God had given me the gifts, skills, personality and opportunities I had been given. I wanted to ensure that I lived from a sense of calling, that I was clear about my assignment and that I was purpose-driven.
In my 30s I began to focus on my PERFORMANCE. I wanted to be the very best leader I possibly could be, and I wanted to be better than those around me. I became consumed with numbers and statistics. Those numbers and statistics informed my identity; how I felt about myself.
In my 40s something shifted. I began to focus on PRESENCE. His presence. My primary goal became creating a way of life and leadership, as well as a church culture, where the pursuit of the presence of God became my ‘one thing’. I started to create healthy rhythms where I would arrange my life around practices and activities that fostered a deeper intimacy with God.
To be clear, I still have a definite sense of purpose and a God-given assignment. I still work hard and want to maximise the gifts and opportunities I have been given. But there has been a less-than-subtle change in how I try to live and lead.
PERFORMANCE-DRIVEN leadership has its benefits. It gets the job done. The organisation advances. It elevates the leader into the limelight. The leader gets the applause. It creates energy, momentum and movement.
But there’s a dark-side too.
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