The Unwritten Rules Of Golf

The official rules of golf are all well and good, but it is the unofficial, unwritten rules that actually make the golfing world go round. We begin with the most important unwritten rule of all...

- Richard Russell

Rule 1) Embarrassingly bad golf:

All golfers are allowed to play terrible golf, so long as they don’t make a hoo-ha about it. Nobody minds playing with someone having a shocker, as long as:

They don’t have an 18-hole strop as well.

They don’t hold everyone up.

The truth is, if you are quick to reload, quick to search and quick to carry on, you are everyone’s dream playing partner. Especially since they’re probably winning a few quid off you.

Rule 2) Ideas above your station:

No one with a handicap of 20 or higher is allowed to prescribe swing advice to another player in their group, no matter how badly that golfer is playing. Seriously, who do they think they are? Have they seen their swing?

Rule 3) Premature congratulations:

No player is permitted to loudly enthuse about another player’s shot too soon after it has been hit or before it has finished its travel and trajectory. The only thing worse than seeing your sweetly struck fairway wood tail off into a hazard is hearing a playing partner trill, ‘Oooh! That’s a fantastic shot!’ while the ball is half way to its watery grave.

Penalty: a short, sharp Chinese burn.

Rule 4) Apologising while on the golf course: