As deep as the pain of losing the 2019 World Cup semi-final to England was, it was never going to overwhelm the All Blacks.
To a man, they had a simple yet powerful defence mechanism which was that they all knew that rugby didn't define them. One loss would not make them losers. One defeat, however painful, didn't have to materially change the way they thought about themselves or who they were.
As Sonny Bill Williams said a few days after: “I have faced some adversity throughout my sporting career and that has put me in good stead to face this. It was a pretty tough night, but at the same time I tried to look at the positives we could take and what we could learn as individuals and as a team.
“We are all driven individuals and we are all very disappointed. I was disappointed knowing the effort we had put in and some of the staff members had put in. Our families and what not and everyone rides that emotional wave but the way I look at life is a game doesn't define me by any means so I took a step back and looked over at Sam [Cane] and said to him how special it was for me to be able to play part of my career with a guy like him.”
There was perspective from Williams and certainty in his own mind that a loss, however public and grand scale, doesn't need to pervade deep into his soul and make himself question who he is.
He plays rugby and yet he's a father, a husband, a friend, a brother and most importantly a citizen linked to a wider community.
Captain Kieran Read made a similar observation when he spoke to the media a day after the loss – a defeat which came on his 34 th birthday.
“It is pretty empty,” he said. “It is not what we came here for. That's the reality of it. It is not going to define us as a group. It is not going to define who we are.
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