For Dad And Depression

ZANELE HLATSHWAYO IS RUNNING 18 RACES – CULMINATING IN THE WASHIE 100-MILER – IN CELEBRATION OF THE MAN HER FATHER WAS BEFORE SHE LOST HIM TO SUICIDE, AND TO RAISE AWARENESS OF MENTAL ILLNESS.

- Lisa Abdellah

On average, 23 South Africans commit suicide every day; which means that among your work colleagues, friends, and even your immediate family, there could be someone who’s feeling depressed enough to take their own life. The chances may be slim, but they’re not impossible.

Zanele Hlatshwayo was at her grandmother’s house when she found out her father was dead. Even more shocking was the news that he had taken his own life. He had always given her the impression he was a proud man, a pillar of his community, a strong father – and the last person she would have expected to suffer from depression. He was her hero.

And Hlatshwayo couldn’t understand why her father had left her behind – along with her brother and sister, who at the time were seven and 12 years old respectively.

“My father had always been there for us,” says the 33-year-old Joburg video specialist at Google South Africa.

“My fondest memory of him was when I was waiting for my matric results. I remember feeling anxious, because I didn’t know whether I’d passed or failed. He stayed up with me until they were published at midnight. He was one of the first people to congratulate me. I think he was just as anxious as I was!”

It wasn’t until her grandmother began to cry and make arrangements to get the family together that the reality set in.

Hlatshwayo had seen her father in the flesh the day before he died. In the week leading up to his death, he had told her that because she was his first-born, she would need to take care of her siblings. He had reassured her that she was strong, and that he would be fine. At the time, she wasn’t sure what he meant by that; only after he passed away did she understand her father had been saying his goodbyes, and preparing her for what to do in the event of his death.

Unbearable pain