The last time I counted, there were four members of my immediate family. So when my three-year-old son drew a family picture with only three people in it, I was curious to know who had been left out – and more importantly, why?
“You’re out running, Daddy,” he explained.
I searched in vain for some trace of pride in his voice. As I pondered his words, I had to admit that I’ve missed family weddings and good friends’ significant birthdays because of running. Our previous two family summer holidays have been in Chamonix, France; where at the time, in no way coincidentally, there’s a race called Ultra-Trail du MontBlanc, which I’ve run. Then there are all the times I’ve been unfairly grumpy with my kids towards the end of days when I got up at 5am or 4am for a long run. I want to be a good parent and a good runner. But is that possible? And am I prioritising the latter over the former?
I discovered the many joys of running long distances at around the same time I became a parent. Sleepless nights, teary tantrums and cake for breakfast became a way of life. Parenting, on the other hand, has been more straightforward. In many ways, the two worlds seem mutually beneficial. Running is surely the best sporting hobby for a parent, mostly because it’s so flexible. You don’t need to arrange to meet teammates, or stretch newly tightened household budgets to cover expensive equipment. It can be done pretty much anywhere, and crucially, pretty much any time. Conversely, having limited opportunities to run can be a great motivator. For me, as for many parents, there’s usually just one chance to get out during the day. So there’s no dilly-dallying. I grab my shoes and dash for the door before that precious opportunity vanishes.
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