Magnets For Insults

GUESS SOME OF US ARE JUST LUCKY

- Doug Mayer

“That’s a great way to break a leg!”

Mike Micucci and I were trotting down the Tuckerman Ravine Trail, on the side of New Hampshire’s Mount Washington, when a hiker hurled that single sentence at us from across the wide, rocky trail. The lecturer was loaded down, plodding uphill with a female companion.

Stunned, we ran past silently—and spent the rest of the run formulating the perfect rejoinder.

We’d deftly slam the door on his expertise, alluding to our roles on a mountain-rescue team: “Guess who’d be called for the rescue—we would!”

We agreed he was right, too: “You know, it is a great way to break a leg,” I said. Mike said, “Beats slipping off a curb.” Somehow, this always happens. When trail running, I am a magnet for comments, and they run the gamut. I’ve been cheered and complimented, but much more often am reprimanded to slow down and enjoy the view.

It happened again last week. Passing through a trail head a mile into a run, I rolled by an idling Cadillac, a passenger slumped over the AC vents. His window was open, so I got his observation loud and clear. “You’re nothing but a big showoff!”

Yes, he really did say that, and no, he really wasn’t kidding.

I must be a pretty clueless showoff. The ensuing 17 miles took me along my favorite remote, quiet trails. I didn’t see a soul.