At night, when Sam Bloom has her most glorious dreams, she’s upright on her surfboard riding the big waves of Sydney’s northern beaches, travelling through remote Africa talking to “amazing people” or mountain biking with her family. And then she wakes up and all that “happiness and excitement” melts away. This was Sam’s world. “I had a great life,” she sighs. “But then I open my eyes and look in the mirror and see that I’m not her.”
Sam says that in that moment when her brain resets to the pain of her new normal, the reality that she can no longer do any of these things, that she is paralysed from the chest down, confined to a wheelchair, “I die a little bit”.
Sam is a fighter, but she’s also a realist, and her road from despair to wanting to live again is as confronting as it is courageous. She’s not interested in sugar-coating her daily battle to hang on to hope. “I know what true suffering feels like,” she says, and every day she mourns for the life that was taken from her. “Never in a million years would I have thought that I would have a spinal cord injury. No one does. You obviously never know what’s around the corner and there’s a part of me that’s always angry. It’s a kind of a selfish thing to say, but I feel ripped off.”
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