The stereotype is that black dads aren’t pulling their weight when it comes to parenting. You can change that.
According to a 2013 study done by the SA Institute of Race Relations, a mere 4% of children in South Africa live with their fathers, and just over 39% are raised by their mothers. Overall, 33% of children in South Africa live with both parents. While this is obviously bleak news, the silver lining is that some dads are active in their children’s lives. Abroad, celeb winners for dad-of-the-year awards include the likes of Usher Raymond, who has primary custody to his two sons with ex-wife, Tameka. Rappers The Game and Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs deserve a nod too. Locally we’ve watched the Vuzu reality show Rap Dads as hip-hop stars Ma-E, L-Tido and Reason showcased their music, and most importantly, the active role they play in their kids’ lives.
Professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work and author of several books, Geoffrey Greif, says in an article: Single Dads: Keeping the Relationship with Your Children, that men unconsciously treat their kids the way they were raised. “If the father was brought up well, there aren’t problems but if he was ignored by his own father, he may repeat that pattern too.” TV and radio personality, DJ Sbu, agrees: “I turned out better because of my step-dad. He came into my life when I was six years old and played the father-figure role. I saw from him what it took to be a great dad.” The great thing is there are plenty more of fathers setting an example of what it is to be a good dad. Social media is peppered with famous dads: Pro Verb, Hlomla Dandala and many others who show their love and attention to their children. Relationship and life coach Thembi Hama says positive fatherhood is, “Being a present and supportive father.” Be one.
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