How I turned my SHYNESS INTO SUCCESS

Anna Hart was determined not to let being shy prevent her from achieving her goals

- ANNA HART/CLARA MOLDEN

Exactly one year ago, I attended my first lockdown Zoom quiz. My support-bubble buddy, Roxy, and I curled up on the sofa in our yoga gear, hibiscus mocktails in hand, and I fumblingly pressed ‘Join with Video’. We were confronted with a grid of faintly familiar faces, friends-of-friends braying loudly and incomprehensibly at each other. Some were wearing hats and dancing, another wore a sequinned dress – I plainly hadn’t received the dress code.

I spotted my rabbit-in-headlights face in the grid, panicked, and snapped my laptop shut.

‘What’s up?’ asked Roxy. I was wide-eyed and my breath was short.

‘I hated that,’ I said, contorting myself into a twisted position in the corner of the sofa. ‘That was terrifying.’

Roxy shrugged and we watched Killing Eve instead. But it took some time for my breathing to return to normal. Those 30 seconds in a Zoom room made me feel just as intimidated as I’ve previously felt entering a room full of well-acquainted strangers at a wedding.

I had flashbacks to panic attacks and episodes when I felt inhibited by shyness at school in Belfast, at university in Glasgow, and as a rookie journalist in London. As an innately shy person, my life has been a series of scary social interactions that I’ve had to learn to handle.

One year on, I can’t pretend to enjoy a Zoom cocktail party or meeting (who does?), but that fight-or-flight instinct no longer kicks in. I’ve hosted Zoom panels for literary festivals, presented digital masterclasses on journalling for mental health, and interviewed celebrities and sports stars via video call.