When the doctor couldn’t look us in the eye during an appointment in summer 2017, I knew it wasn’t good news. ‘The embryos haven’t survived,’ he confirmed apologetically. It was a devastating blow to me and my husband Chris, then 35.
Chris and I had been trying to have a baby for nine months, but despite monitoring my ovulation cycle to increase our chances, month after month we’d see the same negative result.
‘Why isn’t it happening for us?’ I’d cried to Chris.
Convinced something was wrong, I booked to see a doctor in March 2017. Tests revealed problems with my fallopian tubes, and my ovaries weren’t functioning as well as they should, meaning I was producing fewer eggs. ‘You can keep trying, but it’s unlikely to happen naturally,’ we were told.
Undefeated, Chris and I began looking into IVF. At almost £20,000 a cycle, we scraped together all of our savings for one round and pinned all of our hopes on it being a success. But now, after the doctor told us the embryos hadn’t survived, we were distraught as the reality of never having a baby of our own sank in.
It was really hard to come to terms with. ‘I just can’t imagine a life without children,’ I told Chris, who agreed with me. We were both still determined to have a family, one way or another, so we began researching other options. ‘We’ve always been open to adoption,’ Chris reminded me.
FINDING HOPE
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