Seeing a friend’s pregnancy announcement on Facebook, I tried to force a smile before sighing longingly. For as long as I could remember, I’d wanted to be a mum, my maternal instincts kicking in when I was surrounded by dolls as a child and then babysitting as a teenager.
I’d always assumed I’d get married and settle down quickly, but as my 20s flew on, I was focused on my career as a teacher and now, at 26 in 2016, I wondered where that time had gone.
My friends always told me that Mr Right was around the corner, but what if he wasn’t? What if I was going to miss out on being a mum just because I couldn’t find the right man?
While I was pleased for my friends who were in long-term relationships and announcing pregnancies, I struggled to hide my sadness that it wasn’t me.
I shared my woes with friends, but the one person who seemed to really understand me was Doug*, my neighbour.
He lived in the flat next to mine but we shared a balcony, and since he’d moved in three years earlier, we’d struck up a friendship, often having dinner together and sharing stories.
At 46, he was 20 years older than me and while he was a great cook and a good listener, there was nothing romantic between us. Besides, he was recently divorced after a long-term marriage.
An ex-firefighter, Doug had lovely blue eyes and I loved listening to his many life stories. And while I told him all about the antics my pupils had been pulling at work, I also confided in him about my worries.
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