No Walk In The Park

When Olivia Greenway and her new partner moved in together with both their children, they had no idea how difficult creating a ‘blended family’ would be.

- Olivia Greenway

There I was cooking a meal in our holiday villa when an angry din came from outside. I ran to the door and stopped in horror. Out on the lawn, my husband’s son Jason*, 12, was fighting with my son Lewis*, 19. Despite the age gap, this was no friendly scrap between mismatched brothers. The boys genuinely loathed each other and had to be physically parted.

This shared holiday, which Paul and I foolishly hoped would help our two families bond, was a disaster. Throughout the break an atmosphere hung over us like a wet dishcloth. In fact, we spent so much time arguing with the kids and acting as peacemakers, we were exhausted. It was certainly no holiday for us.

‘Blended families’ is the term used these days to describe the situation where two people who already have children, form a new relationship and hope to combine their offspring, bringing them up jointly in a bustling, cheerful, united household. That’s the dream, but achieving it is something else. Step-parents have always had bad press. From poor Cinderella, left behind to clean the kitchen while her step-family went to the ball, to Snow White, whose stepmother plotted to kill her, stepmothers – and stepfathers, for that matter – are often seen as nasty pieces of work.

But surely a modern-day stepmum can ditch the stereotype? Well, hopefully she can, but it’s not easy.