Clive is coming over,’ said Mr Dear once he could spare a moment from the demanding business of eating three Weetabix.
‘That’s nice,’ I said.
Clive is one of Mr Dear’s oldest friends, and a member of the party who escapes to Scotland each year for a chaps’ fishing trip (I mean a fishing party consisting entirely of chaps, you understand, not a fishing party that hopes to catch chaps).
‘As our trip had to be cancelled,’ explained Mr Dear, still speaking through Weetabix, ‘he’s coming over here instead. For a bit of fun.’
A distant alarm bell rang. ‘What sort of fun?’
‘We’re going to knock down the shed.’
‘We have a shed?’
‘Don’t be daft – of course we have a shed.’
‘Oh, you mean that pile of firewood at the bottom of the garden.’
‘Well, yes, I agree that it’s seen better days.’
‘You don’t need Clive,’ I said. ‘You need Tony Robinson and a team of archaeologists.’
‘Ha, ruddy, ha!’
My sympathies, in fact, were with Clive. At the beginning of the year, he was expecting a week of fishing, drinking, and slap-up restaurant dinners. And what does he get? A bring-your-own sledgehammer party.
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