Talking To Kids About Domestic Violence

Lysn psychologist DI O’MALLEY explains how to help children who’ve witnessed abuse

Children are undeniably affected when exposed to domestic violence, whether it’s witnessed or heard, and either emotional, physical or sexual violence. It’s crucial to talk with them in a way that comforts, explains and offers a realistic understanding of the event.

From birth, a child needs to have comfort, safety and security. As children develop emotionally, socially, physically and cognitively, their temperament interacts with their environment and makes them who they are, and their sense of self, through the safety of their caregivers. Domestic violence can fracture that smooth and secure development.

WITNESSING ABUSE

When a child hears their parents yelling at each other, they become distressed and feel unsafe and insecure. With every degree of domestic violence, the insecurity and lack of safety becomes more profound. Research indicates that if the child does not develop a secure attachment, the neural pathway of their brain becomes focused on threat, without developing the ability to emotionally self-regulate and manage distress.