In a good 4x4, I would by now have flooded the engine, grounded the chassis, burnt through several clutches and remodelled the bodywork. I would, in short, be walking home, possibly with a limp and certainly with wet trainers. But not today, because I'm driving a Unimog.
Chances are you will know a bit about Unimog but, unless you're a Moggite, not everything. And even then, probably not everything everything, because there's such a lot to digest. I will try to cover as much as six pages allow. That might skim the surface.
Now in its 75th year, Unimog, part of Daimler Truck (which has Mercedes-Benz, Freightliner and other brands in the mix), on the surface makes two model lines: the UGE implement carrier and the UHE extreme off-roader. Here, I'm driving a UHE. But like Mercedes-Benz's car model line-up, it's more complicated than that.
The UGE implement carrier has 17 different factory-fresh variants across six wheelbases, with five power outputs via engines of four or six cylinders, even before you send it to a specialist for any customisation.
This UHE is more straightforward, with only one wheelbase and length to worry about, one engine option and two cab styles. It's 6.0m long, 2.5m wide and 2.9m tall. But there are still two variants, one being more heavy-duty than the other, owing to beefier axles. Those take its maximum permissible weight from 10.3 tonnes to 14.5 tonnes.
Pictured here is the heaviest-duty double-cab variant of the UHE, the 5023 Crew Cab, which makes it the king of off-road Unimogs and therefore probably a king or at least a notable prince among off-roaders, able to go farther into the rough than most of the planet's other wheeled vehicles; and certainly farther than any vehicle that's also a truck so can do 55mph on the road. Not for nothing has it been named Off-Road magazine's vehicle of the year for the past 18 years running.
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