Let's pretend the letter M doesn't exist. In some alternate universe, where the alphabet skips right from L to N, this confounding new SUV would simply be called the X. That would be a pretty good name. With X, you've got some intrigue: X-Men, X-Files, X Games. Whereas, for BMW, the letter M is freighted with expectation. When you see that rakish M flanked by tricolor stripes, you expect scalding performance, restrained but sporty styling, and visceral responses. You might not always get all of that, but it's what the badge promises. So what do we make of an M-branded 6054-pound SUV with fat black billboard stripes and standard throw pillows on the rear seats? The last time we saw an XM this bizarre, it had hydropneumatic dampers and was a Citroën.
The XM is BMW's first M-exclusive model since the original M1, and for a moment, it held the title of most powerful production BMW ever (that superlative now belongs to its sibling, the 738-hp XM Label Red). On the internal-combustion side, the XM gets a 483-hp twin-turbocharged 4.4-liter V-8 with a cross-bank exhaust manifold that makes it sound like an off-world chain saw felling trees across the Kepler exoplanets. Downstream from that prime mover, the torque converter is replaced by a wet clutch and a 194-hp electric motor that is, like a Taylor Swift audience, permanently excited. The motor makes 207 pound-feet of torque but has its own gearing to multiply that number to 332 pound-feet at the input to the eight-speed automatic transmission. All told, the XM musters 644 horsepower and 590 pound-feet.
Counterpoints
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