GADGET GRIPE

TECHNOLOGY CAN HAVE ITS ADVANTAGES IN THIS MODERN WORLD, AS LONG A ITS IN THE RIGHT HANDS

Many years back, I bought The Speaker a mobile phone she didn't want. This was, of course, for my benefit. Yep, it was a tracking device. Not that I thought she was plotting anything, but I figured my life would just be a bit simpler if I could call her to make sure that her plans - as they applied to me hadn't changed without notice.

None of which explains why, for the entirety of her ownership of that phone, every call I have made to her has gone straight to voicemail. Serves me right, I guess.

Anyway, as I was considering this for the millionth time as I tried - unsuccessfully, of course - to call her this week, I got to thinking about tracking devices for the other loves of our lives. Yep, our cars.

Fitting a tracking device to your car is incredibly inexpensive these days. You simply stick the tracker somewhere a thief probably won't look for it, and nod off to sleep, knowing that if the car moves, the tracker will send your phone a message that all is not well. At which point you can call the cops and report the car as stolen. Or...

Actually that 'Or' is looking like it's becoming a bit of a problem. Okay, so I'm talking about Merica, where Billy-Joe Jim-Bob is short-cutting the bit about calling the cops and using his phone to find the car, and a handgun to ventilate anybody that happens to be sitting in it at the time.

But even if you don't have a particular problem with car thieves being executed by heavily armed citizens, consider the case of the teenage kid in Denver, in one particular case, who was caught in the crossfire when the owner caught up with the alleged thief in a shopping centre car park.

Now, don't get me wrong: I reckon there's a special place in hell for car thieves. But I'm damned if I could ever justify a course of action that left innocent bystanders in the chalk onesie. No car is worth that.