'I WAS ABUSED-I KEPT IT SECRET FOR 29 YEARS'
New UK|May 13, 2024
Actor Joe Tracini reveals the childhood trauma he believes sparked his complex mental health issues
JEN PHARO
'I WAS ABUSED-I KEPT IT SECRET FOR 29 YEARS'

Joe Tracini is an actor, a magician and a best-selling author. He also thinks about ending his life. All the time.

In his new Channel 4 documentary Me And The Voice In My Head, the former Hollyoaks actor reveals his continuing struggle with borderline personality disorder since he was diagnosed 10 years ago and how he’s tried to take his own life six times.

“My emotions are entirely unstable,” says Joe, explaining that the symptoms of BPD include fear of abandonment, distorted self image, explosive anger, mood swings, unstable relationships, paranoia and suicidal thoughts. “I constantly think the worst thing is going to happen and the biggest thing is that I figure out killing myself a lot. It’s quite a difficult thing to explain to somebody who doesn’t have killing himself as an option.”

Joe, 35, whose father is the comedian Joe Pasquale, has tried almost everything to feel better, with varying degrees of success. He finds talking about it helps. “The more I talk about how f****d up I am, the less f****d up I feel,” he says. “Which is f*****g mental.”

There is one thing that Joe has been unable to talk about – until now. In his documentary, Joe is confronting the events that he fears may have sparked his mental illness – he was sexually abused as a young child.

In the documentary he tearfully recalls the abuse, shaking with horror at his ordeal perpetrated by an unnamed man. Until he started filming the documentary, Joe had never told anyone about the abuse.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM NEW UKView all
'SECRETS DON'T STAY BURIED'
New UK

'SECRETS DON'T STAY BURIED'

Bad Sisters returns for a second series with the Garvey siblings in the spotlight again after the dismembered body of JP's father turns up

time-read
3 mins  |
November 11, 2024
'I WAS KISSING HIM AND RUBBING HIS BELLY!'
New UK

'I WAS KISSING HIM AND RUBBING HIS BELLY!'

Interior Design Masters host Alan Carr chats about meeting Pudsey Bear, Simon Cowell's toilet paper and his own dubious home purchases

time-read
3 mins  |
November 11, 2024
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT VAPING
New UK

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT VAPING

E-cigarettes have never been more popular, but vaping isn't as risk-free as people might think it is

time-read
4 mins  |
November 11, 2024
Teen murders mum then lures stepdad home to shoot him too
New UK

Teen murders mum then lures stepdad home to shoot him too

Carly Gregg fired her mum's gun as she searched her bedroom for drugs

time-read
4 mins  |
November 11, 2024
'I took one huge gasp and ran in'
New UK

'I took one huge gasp and ran in'

Lifesaver Emily Greenwood tells new how she rescued two people swept out to sea

time-read
4 mins  |
November 11, 2024
'Clair's married to the biggest fool'
New UK

'Clair's married to the biggest fool'

James and Clair Buckley on having fun at home and their hilarious new podcast

time-read
4 mins  |
November 11, 2024
Louise set for best year yet
New UK

Louise set for best year yet

As loved-up pop star Louise Redknapp celebrates her 50th birthday, a source tells new that marriage 'could be on the cards'

time-read
4 mins  |
November 11, 2024
'Surprisingly, I quite like the muscle aches'
New UK

'Surprisingly, I quite like the muscle aches'

Jamie Borthwick reveals how he juggles filming for EastEnders alongside long rehearsal days on Strictly

time-read
3 mins  |
November 11, 2024
It's been on my vision board - I've loved it'
New UK

It's been on my vision board - I've loved it'

Reality star Molly Smith on manifesting her new lingerie campaign and setting up home with boyfriend Tom Clare

time-read
4 mins  |
November 11, 2024
Chloe is ready to 'find happiness'
New UK

Chloe is ready to 'find happiness'

After her turbulent split from James Haskell, Chloe Madeley is learning to love herself again, a source tells new

time-read
3 mins  |
November 11, 2024