'Men rejected me when they found out I have HIV'

Student Ellie Harrison was just 21 when she discovered that she was HIV positive. Here, she talks about the impact of her diagnosis and fighting to raise awareness

- LUCY ROBINSON

From spending hours swiping on apps to navigating sticky situationships, it’s no secret that dating is harder than ever. But for Ellie Harrison it’s a whole different ball game – one that has led to tears, awkward conversations and lots of ghosting. After she tested positive for HIV when she was 21, the operations manager saw a shift in how people treated her. And it wasn’t for the better.

“I’ve had instances where people don’t want to share cups with me or they didn’t want to sit next to me at uni because they wrongly thought they’d catch it. I’ve also had dates turn their cheek when going to kiss me – you can’t get it from kissing anyway, so that’s silly,” she tells us.

“The first time I told a date it was OK, because we matched online and had the conversation prior to the date, so that was easier. But the dates where I’ve told people face to face can be quite hard because you never know how someone’s going to react. I used to get so anxious and upset – then I’d be crying to someone I’d been on two dates with.”

Despite recent estimates suggesting there are 106,890 people living with HIV in the UK, they still face stigma in their day-to-day lives. New data from the Terrence Higgins Trust found that half of British adults would be uncomfortable kissing someone with HIV, while 41% would be uncomfortable going on a date.

“Negative attitudes to people living with HIV and stigma around the virus lead to discrimination,” says Dr Kate Nambiar, medical director at the Terrence Higgins Trust. “And in 2024, there is no place for them. Stigma hurts people living with HIV, it stops them talking openly about what the virus really means, and it puts people off getting tested and knowing their status.”