The balancing act

In this article, the first in a series, Archana Raghuram talks about role modelling and the value of time in balancing your work with your personal life

- Archana Raghuram

Having worked in the IT industry for nearly 25 years, I am often invited to speak on work-life balance. Are there some universal rules that we can follow to balance a career and a family? The more I thought about it and the more I interacted with women from different backgrounds, I came to realise that it is very difficult to come up with a road map for work-life balance. Every person's life is different, and so are the challenges. What each of us requires is not a map but a compass. Sometimes, you have to change course because of bad weather, but as long as you have got your compass with you, you know whether you are heading in the right direction. Given that each of our lives is singular and unique, it is impossible for anyone to give you a map. No one but you yourself can decide the best course of action for your life.

What I want to share with you today is the compass I use to navigate the choppy and unknown ocean called work-life. It is a set of seven paradigms that I use for making life decisions. I will share two of them with you today.

Role model rule for parenting

Becoming a mother is by far the most disruptive event in any woman's life. It doesn't just disrupt your career but shakes up your whole life. When I had my first child, I was probably the only working woman in my immediate circle. I started believing that I could not be a good mother since I had a demanding career.

I remember being riddled with guilt. I felt inadequate every day. In my mind, the best way to compensate was to spend all the time I could with my son. I used to come back late from the office and then sit with him and help him do his homework, which used to be very unpleasant and stressful for both of us. I kept pushing him to achieve. I felt if he failed or under-achieved, it would reflect on me as a mother.