Growing up, the only thing that soothed my troubled emotions was the warm, pure, and loving touch of my parents. Whether it was lying in Mama's lap as she gently stroked her fingers through my hair or a tight hug from Papa (I could feel his heartbeat while my head rested on his chest), in both cases, I would feel a certain sense of calm as if my nerves were relaxed.
As an adult, in my romantic relationship too, I realised that physical touch was really important to me which does not have to just have a sexual connotation. To be able to hold your partner, touch their face, hug them, caress their hair, and just feel their breath and heartbeat, these things were just so essential for me to love and feel loved. No wonder, I broke off two of my long-distance relationships. During the first one, I didn't know that the physical absence of a person for a long time mattered to me much. But, in the second one, I deliberately kept the distance between me and my partner as a challenge, only to realise that it just didn't work for me.
As I was going through a difficult time in my second relationship, I called up a friend to seek comfort and advice. Upon hearing my story, she asked me if I had read this book by Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages. Soon after, I got this book and read it. And then it all made sense to me when I realised that my love language is physical touch. Now what is a love language? Every person has an individual way to express or communicate love to another person. The expression that comes most naturally to a person to give or receive love becomes their love language. This book was particularly groundbreaking for me.
According to the author, Chapman, the five love languages are:
1. Acts of service: Doing things that make your partner feel loved and appreciated, such as helping with chores or doing errands around without being asked to.
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