
I was a very active teen-involved in gymnastics, cheerleading, soccer, and track - so I always had some sort of muscle ache or pain. But I had two siblings with special needs, and I never wanted to complain and make things harder for my mom, so I just dealt with it.
When I was in my mid-20s, however, I felt pain that was very different - I was sore to the touch, as if parts of my body were bruised. Still, there were things to blame it on: I'd had knee surgery; I worked with rambunctious pre-K kids; I had a new baby. I also thought I might be getting osteoarthritis, which ran in my family.
I tried to describe the bruised feeling to a doctor, but it didn't go well. He looked over my blood work, said "There's nothing wrong with you," and, though he knew nothing about my personal life, asked if what I was looking for was more attention from my husband! Then he said he could refer me to a psychiatrist. I was furious at his inappropriate response. I also felt embarrassed.
SELF-DOUBT DOMINATED
That was partly because I was hearing similar things at home: My marriage wasn't great. My husband said things like "There's always some medical issue with you." I wondered, was the doctor right? Was I a hypochondriac? Even when, a few years later, I had an odd sensation on my skin like a sunburn that started around my buttocks and went down my hip, I'd think OK, that's not a muscle ache, but I'd try to go on with my life. My husband and I eventually divorced, but I still doubted myself. And the pain just got worse.
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