OXFORD HAS a better party. I am told the tailgating tents at Ole Miss are lit by chandeliers.
Baton Rouge has better food-vats of gumbo thick with blue crab. That aroma mixes with the tang of 10,000 drive-through daiquiris.
Fayetteville has a better mascot: a massive hog. Fans don plastic pig hats. I wish I had one. I would even wear it to church.
Knoxville has a better fight song; you can play it on a banjo.
Athens has better football fortune lately, with back-to-back championships. Now the Dawgs are drooling over a 2023 schedule that features mostly peewee teams, and they expect to make it three in a row.
Tuscaloosa? Well, it has legend. I recently met a man from Sri Lanka, and when I said I worked in Tuscaloosa, he knew precisely what that meant.
"Roll Tide!" he said-and then happily added, "Ha ha!"
"Roll Tide!" I replied-and then said "Ha ha!" to be polite.
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