Seat Pants: Standing for an entire concert is a young man's game. Thankfully, with these pants, you can rest between sets without losing your spot.
Steel-Toed Crocs with Matching Compression Socks: Comfortably protect toes from getting stomped on and combat varicose veins.
Private Air-Filtration System: Sure, smoking indoors is illegal, but when has that ever stopped concertgoers? Protect your declining lung capacity with this easy-to-wear filtration system. Make sure to change the filter every hour, or any time you see an 18-year-old swap out their vape cartridge.
Emergency-Release Wearable Air Bag: Repels moshing, jostling, pushing, elbowing, and sweaty, long-haired dancers with no concept of personal space.
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