I hadn't opened a book all morning. I was holed up in my room, playing MLB The Show on my Xbox. I had a lineup of all-star players. I knew all their stats: batting average, RBI, slugging, OPS, WAR, ERA, WHIP, Ks. Those were the kind of numbers I could really get excited about.
My mom knocked and poked her head in. I kept playing. Justin Verlander was into his windup with a man in scoring position. Mom paused, then said, "Your game can wait, Jordan."
I sighed. "Just taking a break from studying," I said...unconvincingly.
Mom pursed her lips. "You can pass these exams," she said. "I know what it's like to fear failure. You can't let it stop you from trying. Eric and I have faith in you."
I nodded, not looking at her. I wanted to get back to my game. She closed the door, and I put the Xbox controller down. Now I couldn't even concentrate on The Show.
Truth was, I wasn't afraid of failing the tests. In fact, I might have been afraid of passing. What I was up against were the licensing exams to become a financial adviser. I already had a job with a good firm. All I had to do was nail these last two certifications and my future was set. But was this the future I wanted?
Going into the spring of senior year at Indiana State University's business school, my best friend had landed a great job at Amazon with a generous sign-on bonus and a good career path. At every dinner, Mom and my stepdad, Eric, would interrogate me about my plans, where I'd applied, when I was interviewing, all that. "I can help you with your résumé," Mom would say.
The pressure felt relentless. I needed to deliver.
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
What prayer can do
POWER IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVES
Rejoice in All Things
My husband and I had an annual tradition of celebrating the high points of the year. This time, he wanted to try something different
Special Delivery
A month after my wife died and my life felt so empty, the only thing I had to look forward to was Amazon
A Prayer for Cullen
Even in a family crisis, I had trouble quieting my mind enough to listen for God
Blackie & Rosebud
What would happen to my friend's cats now that she was gone?
The Kids Are Alright
My twin boys and I had always been close. I thought they needed me. Now I wasn't so sure
Kindred Spirits
I thought the nose ring gave it away—she was just another teenager. I couldn't imagine how she could help me
A Boy Named Sue
In 1969, Johnny Cash and his wife, June, threw a party at their house in Hendersonville, Tennessee, a “guitar pull,” where guests passed around a guitar and tried out new songs.
Active Duty
I'd tried everything for my knee - physical therapy, gel injections, a cumbersome brace. Everything except prayer
Living an Abundant Life
A conversation with spirituality and health researcher Harold G. Koenig, M.D., on what makes people truly happy