The motivation to change my life and start studying after more than 20 years away from a textbook came from none other than Gabby Bernstein. The queen of manifesting and self-proclaimed ‘spirit junkie’ was performing an inspirational one-woman show in London, and I was lucky enough to be invited. I was mesmerised by the tiny, bird-like New Yorker as she bounced around the stage, radiating energy and dropping f-bombs.
I was a little nervous of the idea of manifesting – it’s really not my vibe – but her interest seems to have moved from her early career approach of ‘What do I want, and how can I get it’, to a more mature and reflective, ‘How can I serve, and what’s stopping me?’ This was the idea that stuck with me.
I couldn’t help feeling – probably like many others in the crowd – that I wasn’t quite living my best life. Don’t get me wrong, I really love my life, but I’m aware that there are still many things making me live a smaller, quieter life than I’d perhaps dreamed of. So, as I walked back to the train station, buzzing, later that night, I couldn’t help reflect on the challenge Bernstein’s words had set me. Well, what was stopping me? And what, exactly, was it stopping me from doing?
I reflected on my job, as editor-in-chief of this magazine. I’ve been doing this for pretty much two years now, and I adore it, but I still don’t feel remotely comfortable in the role. Full disclosure: I have the most shocking imposter syndrome.
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