IN 2017, A FEW MONTHS after Meredith Davis of Guelph had her third child, her husband went back to work and she found herself alone at home, trying to manage three kids under the age of four. She was 35, and the stress of balancing her older children's needs and caring for her new baby was taking its toll. "I felt like my life imploded," she says. "All I could hear was this loud, glaring voice saying You're not a good mom. You're not cut out for this."
The more stressed she became, the louder her inner critic got, leaving her exhausted and struggling to feel present with her family. She soon contracted pneumonia and shingles-and realized she needed to do something to manage her negative self-talk.
Our interior monologue is influenced by the people in our lives (our parents and caregivers when we're young, our peers, partners and bosses when we're older) and the cultural messages and beliefs that surround us. And it's active! Experts estimate we can talk to ourselves as much as 4,000 words a minute.
Our inner voice can be very helpful, reminding us where we put our keys or to be careful when we're walking on an icy sidewalk. But challenges and stress in our relationships, jobs, financial affairs and the world around us can turn up the volume on our inner critic. This can lead to negative self-talk and, sometimes, self-sabotage-say, convincing ourselves we'll never get that job or that we don't deserve a partner's love. Luckily, there are practical actions you can take to shush your self-critical chatter.
Name Your Triggers
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
From the King's Table to Street Food: A Food History of Delhi
Pushpesh Pant, one of India’s pre-eminent food writers, is back with a comprehensive food history of the capital.
Who Wants Coffee?
It’s bitter—but beloved around the world
Prevent The Pain Of Shingles
You don't have to suffer, as long as you take two important steps
The Best And Worst Diets For Your Heart
Dozens of diets are touted as ‘best’, but it’s easy to lose track of the fact that healthy eating needs to be about overall wellness, not just weight loss.
ME & MY SHELF
Journalist Sopan Joshi has worked in a science and environment framework for nearly three decades. His book Mangifera indica: A Biography of the Mango (Aleph Book Company) synthesizes the sensory appeal of India's favourite fruit with its elaborate cultural roots and natural history. He writes in English and Hindi.
SWITCHED
In 1962, nurses at a small Canadian hospital sent home two women with the wrong babies. Then, 50 years later, their children discovered the shocking mistake.
ECHOES OF THE PAST
A VISIT TO THE ANCIENT BARABAR CAVES IN BIHAR REVEALS A SURPRISING CONNECTION TO A LITERARY CLASSIC
Fathers of the Bride
A young woman finds a unique way to honour the many men who helped her survive her childhood
Fiction's Foresight
British-Bangladeshi author Manzu Islam's works reveal startling parallels to recent political upheavals in Bangladesh, begging the question: Besides helping us make sense of our world, can stories also offer a glimpse into the future?
It Happens ONLY IN INDIA
The Divine Defence Picture this: A tractor in Rajasthan‘s Banswara district,a group of loan agents closing in to seize it and the defaulting farmer and his family standing by.