I leap into the air like a youthful Nureyev, performing a grand jeté to the left and then one to the right. Next it's tap work, madly stamping the ground like a frenzied Fred Astaire.
The cause is a double insect infestation. Pantry moths fill the air; cockroaches scurry across every surface. Both are common here in Australia, particularly during summer. I'm determined to win my battle.
I say the cockroaches 'scurry, but that's not the right word. Rather, it's a brisk, purposeful walk. They have no fear; they own this place. From the dignified manner of their perambulation, I assume they've already contacted my bank and taken over the mortgage.
I have tried traps, of course, which the cockroaches regard as mobile housing, dotted around the place for their convenience. I have tried insecticide, which has a worse effect on me than on them. There are so many cockroaches, I wonder if they'd mind fetching my asthma puffer from my bedroom drawer before I spray.
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BOOKS
Books review
STUDIO - Off Lamington Road by Gieve Patel
Oil on Canvas, 54 x 88 in
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FOODS THAT FIGHT DEMENTIA
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THE SNAKE CHARMERS
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Sisterhood to Last a Lifetime
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...TO DIE ON A HOCKEY RINK
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Just Sit Tight
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Allow Me to Mansplain...
If there's one thing we know, it's this: We're a nation of know-it-alls
THE BITTER TRUTH ABOUT SUGAR (AND SUGAR SUBSTITUTES!)
It's no secret that we have a serious addiction. Here's how to cut back on the sweet stuff, once and for all.