Terrified of Turtles

Shell-Shocked
As a kid, I heard stories of snapping turtles who ate my grandmother's pet ducks. One day, I was in a rowboat with my aunt, occasionally dipping my hand into the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge snapping turtle inches away from my hand. I've been scared of them ever since. Then, in my 20s, some friends convinced me to join them in jumping into a lake from a bridge. On the way down, all I could think of was snapping turtles swarming me when I landed. I flailed my arms and legs midair in a futile attempt to stop myself, totally muffing the jump and doing a painful belly flop into the water.
-JENNIFER THORNE Auburn, AL
Mixed Signals
I told my wife how I hated driving under traffic lights on windy days. I'd once visited a factory that manufactures them and learned how huge and heavy they are. She told me I was nuts and that traffic lights never fall. Fast-forward to me driving home one rainy, windy night. I pulled up to an intersection and, lo and behold, the traffic light was lying in the middle of the road, smashed to smithereens. So my paranoia isn't without merit. It even has a name: fanariphobia. But I like to call it trafficlightis. -JOHN MEEKER York, PA
Oh, Bother
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