'I can't AFFORD my FRIENDS'
woman & home South Africa|July 2023
Relationships can falter when fortunes change - but can you find common ground?
'I can't AFFORD my FRIENDS'

The 'peer wealth gap' is familiar to many of us, particularly as we rebuild our lives after the pandemic. Of course, it's nothing new - it was perfectly illustrated by an episode of Friends in the 1990s. When the six go out for a meal in a swanky restaurant, the less affluent Joey, Phoebe and Rachel order tap water and the cheapest side dishes, while the others choose freely from the menu. When Ross divides the bill equally, an awkward conversation ensues. 'I just never think of money as an issue,' Ross shrugs, to which Rachel retorts, 'That's because you have it.

Money can create tension in close relationships. And when it comes to friendships, it can cause unwelcome stress, especially when you have less disposable income than your pals. So if you are struggling to keep up with the Joneses - whether they are friends or neighbours - you're not alone. And while we can't magic a pot of gold, it's worth remembering there are things money can't buy.

IT'S ALL ABOUT CONNECTION, NOT MONEY'

Psychotherapist and coach Sarie Taylor says that while it's understandable to feel awkward about differing financial situations between friends, it is vital not to get hung up on them.

Friendship is about connection, joy, and love - none of which comes from money. How many of us have decided to be someone's friend because of how much money they have? Take a look at your personal relationship with money. Perhaps you link it to worth and success? Often, our ideas are more about how we see ourselves than what others think of us.

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