Emperor's new blooms
New Zealand Listener|July 15 - 21 2023
We wandered about paddocks, pretending to be ruminants.
MICHELE HEWITSON
Emperor's new blooms

A friend once came across a seedling she didn't recognise in her garden. This often happens in gardens. I have no idea where my dark-red hollyhocks or the pure white aquilegia, which appear every year by the side of the mower bay, blew in from. They are happy accidents.

Gardens are made of such happy accidents. Anything you actually meant to grow, and spent far too much money on after going crazy with the seed catalogue, will probably be doomed to failure. I let things self-seed, which means that you have, at the end of summer, a garden made up of sticks. But it's worth a bit of scruffiness for all those free plants in place of expensive packets of seed.

My friend was very excited about her stray seedling. It could turn out to be something spectacular. She cosseted it, and fed it, and peered at it, frequently. Her seedling grew like a triffid. Then it flowered. It was a weed.

She was miffed. She posted a picture of the bloody thing on social media, along with the story of the seedling saga. Some ninny responded with that old chestnut: "A weed is just a flower in the wrong place." No it isn't. It's a bloody weed.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM NEW ZEALAND LISTENERView all
First-world problem
New Zealand Listener

First-world problem

Harrowing tales of migrants attempting to enter the US highlight the political failure to fully tackle the problem.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Applying intelligence to AI
New Zealand Listener

Applying intelligence to AI

I call it the 'Terminator Effect', based on the premise that thinking machines took over the world.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Nazism rears its head
New Zealand Listener

Nazism rears its head

Smirky Höcke, with his penchant for waving with a suspiciously straight elbow and an open palm, won't get to be boss of either state.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Staying ahead of the game
New Zealand Listener

Staying ahead of the game

Will the brave new world of bipartisanship that seems to be on offer with an Infrastructure Commission come to fruition?

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Grasping the nettle
New Zealand Listener

Grasping the nettle

Broccoli is horrible. It smells, when being cooked, like cat pee.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Hangry? Eat breakfast
New Zealand Listener

Hangry? Eat breakfast

People who don't break their fast first thing in the morning report the least life satisfaction.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Chemical reaction
New Zealand Listener

Chemical reaction

Nitrates in processed meats are well known to cause harm, but consumed from plant sources, their effect is quite different.

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Me and my guitar
New Zealand Listener

Me and my guitar

Australian guitarist Karin Schaupp sticks to the familiar for her Dunedin concerts.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Time is on my side
New Zealand Listener

Time is on my side

Age does not weary some of our much-loved musicians but what keeps them on the road?

time-read
7 mins  |
September 9, 2024
The kids are not alright
New Zealand Listener

The kids are not alright

Nuanced account details how China's blessed generation has been replaced by one consumed by fear and hopelessness.

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024