Fool's paradise
New Zealand Listener|September 23-29 2023
New Zealanders may be leaving for Australia in droves, but they'll be back. 
PAUL LITTLE
Fool's paradise

Are New Zealanders voting with their passports? The message in a slew of recent stories about people moving overseas is that the government is failing so badly, they have no choice.

The mantra seems to be getting through. "The health system's completely stuffed. It's Third World. I've got this mole my doctor says looks a bit odd and I need to see a specialist but there's a two-month waiting list on the public health. So that's it. We're going to move to Noosa. Everything's better over there."

This monologue was recently shared at high volume in a Napier restaurant. Let's hope the mole turned out benign and the move to Noosa and a superior health system was accomplished within the two months it might have taken if the speaker had hung in here.

Leaving aside questions about the advisability of exporting a dodgy melanoma to a place where, according to a Queensland tourism website, "The sun shines ... more than most other places in the world, with an average of seven long hours ... every single day", the sentiment won't surprise anyone who has been following the news.

Daily, we are assailed with multiple media reckons from the likes of real estate agents affirming they have never had more enquiries from people wanting to sell their homes because they're fed up and are moving to Australia. They've never seen anything like it. Of course, real estate agents are hardly the most disinterested parties when it comes to advising people whether or not to sell their homes.

If all those stories have even an iota of truth, by the time this piece is published, it is possible there will be no one left in Aotearoa New Zealand to read it.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM NEW ZEALAND LISTENERView all
First-world problem
New Zealand Listener

First-world problem

Harrowing tales of migrants attempting to enter the US highlight the political failure to fully tackle the problem.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Applying intelligence to AI
New Zealand Listener

Applying intelligence to AI

I call it the 'Terminator Effect', based on the premise that thinking machines took over the world.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Nazism rears its head
New Zealand Listener

Nazism rears its head

Smirky Höcke, with his penchant for waving with a suspiciously straight elbow and an open palm, won't get to be boss of either state.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Staying ahead of the game
New Zealand Listener

Staying ahead of the game

Will the brave new world of bipartisanship that seems to be on offer with an Infrastructure Commission come to fruition?

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Grasping the nettle
New Zealand Listener

Grasping the nettle

Broccoli is horrible. It smells, when being cooked, like cat pee.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Hangry? Eat breakfast
New Zealand Listener

Hangry? Eat breakfast

People who don't break their fast first thing in the morning report the least life satisfaction.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Chemical reaction
New Zealand Listener

Chemical reaction

Nitrates in processed meats are well known to cause harm, but consumed from plant sources, their effect is quite different.

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Me and my guitar
New Zealand Listener

Me and my guitar

Australian guitarist Karin Schaupp sticks to the familiar for her Dunedin concerts.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Time is on my side
New Zealand Listener

Time is on my side

Age does not weary some of our much-loved musicians but what keeps them on the road?

time-read
7 mins  |
September 9, 2024
The kids are not alright
New Zealand Listener

The kids are not alright

Nuanced account details how China's blessed generation has been replaced by one consumed by fear and hopelessness.

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024