How to mum

Mother of three Lucy Jones examines the myths and preconceptions surrounding childbirth and parenthood.

- ELEANOR DE JONG

In this unflinching look at modern-day motherhood, British journalist Lucy Jones methodically examines the journey women make from single entities to pregnancy, birth and motherhood - matrescence.

Jones, previously the author of Losing Eden, an account of why humans psychologically and emotionally need nature, argues that the maternal phase of life should gain the same recognition and status as adolescence, comparable as it is in the awesome physical, biological and psychological changes a woman undergoes.

She weaves in her own experience - she had three children close together in age - with the latest research on pregnancy and motherhood. But Jones's own matrescence was marked by acute anxiety and postnatal depression.

She had no pain relief beyond gas at all three births, instead choosing motivational tapes, breathing exercises and hypno-assistance. The pain of her labours sets the tone for the book, and her shocks continue to mount at the "hidden" secrets of motherhood (sleepless nights, postnatal depression, difficulty breastfeeding).

"The pain was, again, extraordinary," Jones writes of her second labour at home. "This labour was a tundra, cold and hostile. Towards the end, the pain became hot and fiery, as if my body was filled with waves of lava."