Laid to rest
New Zealand Listener|February 25-March 3 2023
We said, Goodbye, Little Linda. We're sorry about all the horrible things we said about you.”
MICHELE HEWITSON
Laid to rest

Here at Lush Places, we are in mourning. For a chicken. Little Linda has died. She was perfectly fine in the morning and ate up her breakfast with customary gusto. She attacked her sisters, which was her favourite thing to do, before making a mess of my garden and pooping everywhere. Then she started panting and 20 minutes later was dead. Greg dug a grave for her under the alder trees where she liked to forage for bugs. We threw in a handful of her preferred treat: sunflower seeds. We cut some hydrangeas and put them in a jar and shed a tear. She was the worst chicken in the world, but she was our worst chicken in the world. The next day, her sisters were discovered digging up her grave. They knocked the jar of hydrangeas over. Astonishingly, they don’t appear to miss her. It is possible that chickens are not sentimental.

We will never know what killed her, but our best bet is that it was heat stroke. It can’t have been old age. She was the youngest of our flock of four.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM NEW ZEALAND LISTENERView all
First-world problem
New Zealand Listener

First-world problem

Harrowing tales of migrants attempting to enter the US highlight the political failure to fully tackle the problem.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Applying intelligence to AI
New Zealand Listener

Applying intelligence to AI

I call it the 'Terminator Effect', based on the premise that thinking machines took over the world.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Nazism rears its head
New Zealand Listener

Nazism rears its head

Smirky Höcke, with his penchant for waving with a suspiciously straight elbow and an open palm, won't get to be boss of either state.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Staying ahead of the game
New Zealand Listener

Staying ahead of the game

Will the brave new world of bipartisanship that seems to be on offer with an Infrastructure Commission come to fruition?

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Grasping the nettle
New Zealand Listener

Grasping the nettle

Broccoli is horrible. It smells, when being cooked, like cat pee.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Hangry? Eat breakfast
New Zealand Listener

Hangry? Eat breakfast

People who don't break their fast first thing in the morning report the least life satisfaction.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Chemical reaction
New Zealand Listener

Chemical reaction

Nitrates in processed meats are well known to cause harm, but consumed from plant sources, their effect is quite different.

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Me and my guitar
New Zealand Listener

Me and my guitar

Australian guitarist Karin Schaupp sticks to the familiar for her Dunedin concerts.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Time is on my side
New Zealand Listener

Time is on my side

Age does not weary some of our much-loved musicians but what keeps them on the road?

time-read
7 mins  |
September 9, 2024
The kids are not alright
New Zealand Listener

The kids are not alright

Nuanced account details how China's blessed generation has been replaced by one consumed by fear and hopelessness.

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024