Summer of our discontent

If you've never witnessed the feverish joys of cognitive dissonance before, then feel free to watch reruns of interviews with the British holidaymakers whose vacations were cut short by wildfires in Greece last month. 

- CATHRIN SCHAER

More than 20,000 people were evacuated from the island of Rhodes in what would be Greece's largest evacuation ever.

"Ooh, it was terrible. Horrible. A nightmare," said Mavis from Wickham, dressed only in the fluorescent-green T-shirt and matching bikini bottoms in which she fled the resort. "Our holiday is completely ruined. The children are so upset they won't be able to have their fish fingers this evening. The Greek taverna does them so well. And my tan, well, I don't even know where to start. Everything is ruined."

"We only got here last night and we don't even know if our rooms are ready, whether the hotel is on fire, or the waiters have been burnt to a crisp," added Mark from Bottomley while pulling his bulging wheely suitcase along a dirt road. Behind him was a Greek hillside swathed in greybrown smoke and streaked with flames. "I want a refund," he snorted angrily.