What the hang
New Zealand Listener|July 8 - 14, 2023
Election year? Must be time for the Opposition to proclaim itself tough on crime.
MICHELE HEWITSON
What the hang

Hear ye. Hear ye. All rise for Judge Luxon. The Court of Bang 'Em Up For Life is now in session.

When it comes to election-year tough-on-crime policies, the Nats are repeat offenders. It's a bit boring. 

This would have added a bit of zing: at the annual National Party conference last week, Opposition Leader Christopher Luxon announced he was appointing himself as a High Court judge and would bring back hanging. No, of course he didn't. Nothing as exciting as that ever happens at party conferences.

He did announce that under his government judges would be prevented from dishing out discretionary discounts of more than 40% on criminal sentences. The Nats would also restrict the use of "cultural reports", which take into account the cultural context for a crime, and which can also result in reduced time. Those Nats are tough guys. But while they want to look tough, they don't want to come across as ogres who keep bad guys chained up in the cellar. So there was a sweetener: rehabilitation would be available to remand prisoners presentencing. As sweeteners go, this amounts to a grain of that awful artificial stuff that people who don't use sugar stir into their instant coffee.

The Labour Party, of course, said all of this would cost gazillions. And where, by the way, were National's costings? There weren't any. So whether all of this would cost gazillions is unknown. But never mind. "We're gonna make sure we can do everything as fast as we possibly can," said the self-appointed, tough-talking Judge Luxon. "But it's very difficult for us to predict all that out. But I'm telling you, we're gonna take action." Gotta love those "gonnas".

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM NEW ZEALAND LISTENERView all
First-world problem
New Zealand Listener

First-world problem

Harrowing tales of migrants attempting to enter the US highlight the political failure to fully tackle the problem.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Applying intelligence to AI
New Zealand Listener

Applying intelligence to AI

I call it the 'Terminator Effect', based on the premise that thinking machines took over the world.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Nazism rears its head
New Zealand Listener

Nazism rears its head

Smirky Höcke, with his penchant for waving with a suspiciously straight elbow and an open palm, won't get to be boss of either state.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Staying ahead of the game
New Zealand Listener

Staying ahead of the game

Will the brave new world of bipartisanship that seems to be on offer with an Infrastructure Commission come to fruition?

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Grasping the nettle
New Zealand Listener

Grasping the nettle

Broccoli is horrible. It smells, when being cooked, like cat pee.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Hangry? Eat breakfast
New Zealand Listener

Hangry? Eat breakfast

People who don't break their fast first thing in the morning report the least life satisfaction.

time-read
3 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Chemical reaction
New Zealand Listener

Chemical reaction

Nitrates in processed meats are well known to cause harm, but consumed from plant sources, their effect is quite different.

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Me and my guitar
New Zealand Listener

Me and my guitar

Australian guitarist Karin Schaupp sticks to the familiar for her Dunedin concerts.

time-read
2 mins  |
September 9, 2024
Time is on my side
New Zealand Listener

Time is on my side

Age does not weary some of our much-loved musicians but what keeps them on the road?

time-read
7 mins  |
September 9, 2024
The kids are not alright
New Zealand Listener

The kids are not alright

Nuanced account details how China's blessed generation has been replaced by one consumed by fear and hopelessness.

time-read
4 mins  |
September 9, 2024