In 2019, as I waited in the immigration line at the San Francisco airport, a message beeped.
“Do you have a few minutes to listen?”
“Regarding?”
“I am feeling suicidal.”
“Stay wherever you are. It will pass.”
The world defeated him then. He didn’t go ahead. He decided to live.
He was a stranger, someone you know on social media, a projected persona. He said he had felt betrayed. He was in love. A love that made him feel helpless. He said there was nobody he could talk to. His best friend had said he was busy. We spoke for a long time until the urge passed. He said thank you. I checked on him a few times later and he said he was fine.
But I remember the language. Stark, despairing and honest. A cry for help.
Another time, a friend said she had seen the green dot against my name and in the nocturnal hours, she had decided to send a message about her feeling like she should end all agony herself. As she had waded through what she called the dark tunnel, the green dot made her pause.
That pause was everything.
“Thanks for understanding,” she said as she hung up.
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