SUPERMARKETS have had to lock condoms in security boxes after cash-strapped lovers started nicking them.
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MADD ONE
Pep fumes as City lose fifth in a row
'Fergie time? It's different now... I have to be me'
SAYS RUBEN AMORIM
SLOT OF RESPECT
Arne joins City boss Pep in hailing Saints' Martin
IT'S ODE TO JOY FOR MIK'S GUNS
Fit-again Martin & Saka rule the show
QUICK SMART
Butch: Kiwis a test
Keep your Eds
FANS SHOULDN'T BOO OLD BOSS
You're licked! Worst doggy sock thieves
RETRIEVERS RATED CRIMINAL LEG-ENDS
THE KINKY WRINKLIES
Boomers' booty calls
Look at the size of those pigs in blankets Doreen!
NUDIST XMAS DINNER AT PUB
Cher: I saw Jesus face on curtains..
STAR BELIEVED IN ANGELS & SPIRITS
