I can't hide my dirty little secret any longer: I drink 0% beer and I love it

MOTHER, father...if you read this, please know that I am so sorry. I have let you down and you will never be able to look at me in the eye again.

- Martin Robinson

I have a dirty little secret. I've started drinking zero per cent beer.

I feel so ashamed. It's disgraceful, I know. And as one with Northern blood in my veins, it is a hard thing to admit. The shame means my new obsession is a secret I'm disguising from those around me. I keep smuggling the drink into barbecues, secretly nipping off to refresh my glass from cans hidden in my daughter's unicorn rucksack. At home, there's a secret stash of Guinness 0.0% which I guiltily pluck from when trying to enjoy Friday night wind-down drinks with my partner. I'm regularly hiding empties at the bottom of the bin.