Badenoch and Jenrick go all out to appeal to the worst instincts of Conservative members
The Guardian|October 30, 2024
First the good news. In just a few days' time you won't be subjected to a constant stream of unconsciousness from Kemi Badenoch and Robert Jenrick.
John Grace

Now the bad news. In just a few days' time, either Kemi Kaze or Honest Bob will become the new Tory leader and you will get yet more white noise from one of them. Most likely Kemi.

There are very few people who actually care who becomes leader of the opposition. Not even the Tories are that bothered. Partly because the choice is so dismal, but mainly because they suspect it's merely a temporary appointment. Give it a couple of years and they'll be going through the whole process again.

The only two people who don't seem to be aware of their own existential futility are Badenoch and Jenrick.

In an act of sadism towards their audiences, radio and TV stations have been giving blanket coverage to whatever drifts across both Kemi Kaze and Honest Bob's synapses. Rather than proving that eventually one of them might say something vaguely coherent, there's been a race to the bottom.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM THE GUARDIANView all
Parry: Premier League would be 'sterile' without EFL
The Guardian

Parry: Premier League would be 'sterile' without EFL

Rick Parry has accused the Premier League of undervaluing the football pyramid, arguing that without the \"variety and competition\" that come from relegation and promotion the game would become \"sterile\".

time-read
2 mins  |
November 13, 2024
Official review: Coote faces FA investigation as Webb breaks silence on video
The Guardian

Official review: Coote faces FA investigation as Webb breaks silence on video

The Football Association has launched its own investigation into the behaviour of the referee David Coote after remarks he made about Jürgen Klopp in a video that surfaced online this week.

time-read
1 min  |
November 13, 2024
Match-by-match: Coote's Liverpool games as an official
The Guardian

Match-by-match: Coote's Liverpool games as an official

Referee who has been caught on video in a foul-mouthed tirade against Jürgen Klopp officiated 21 Liverpool games. Andy Hunter takes a look at the decisions in each one

time-read
4 mins  |
November 13, 2024
Wretched, haunted but human: a referee shaped by modern football
The Guardian

Wretched, haunted but human: a referee shaped by modern football

Is it really a surprise that an official or someone similar should end up glassy-eyed and spitting toxins on a sofa?

time-read
5 mins  |
November 13, 2024
Hall's audition adds intrigue to England's Nations League finale
The Guardian

Hall's audition adds intrigue to England's Nations League finale

In-form Newcastle defender can show Thomas Tuchel he can be the solution to perennial problem on the left

time-read
3 mins  |
November 13, 2024
The Guardian

'It's about robust planning, proper financial control'

is about \"preventing the shocks\" that have disrupted the sport in recent years.

time-read
1 min  |
November 13, 2024
'People are going to see women's boxing at its very best'
The Guardian

'People are going to see women's boxing at its very best'

The super-lightweight world champion Katie Taylor says her rematch against Amanda Serrano in Texas, as the main support act to Tyson v Paul, will be something special

time-read
5 mins  |
November 13, 2024
Blindkilde Brown and Fujino help City avoid slip up
The Guardian

Blindkilde Brown and Fujino help City avoid slip up

Manchester City maintained their 100% start in the Women's Champions League group stage as second-half goals from youngsters Laura Blindkilde Brown and Aoba Fujino were enough to beat a determined Hammarby side.

time-read
3 mins  |
November 13, 2024
Players must cope with extra scrutiny, says Lewis
The Guardian

Players must cope with extra scrutiny, says Lewis

The England coach, Jon Lewis, said his players experienced a \"sharp learning curve\" about perception management in the fallout from their disastrous group-stage exit in last month's T20 World Cup.

time-read
2 mins  |
November 13, 2024
No input from Jones in England's plan to upset Springboks
The Guardian

No input from Jones in England's plan to upset Springboks

England will not be benefiting from the insider knowledge of their former Springbok assistant coach Felix Jones this weekend after it emerged that neither their players nor key staff members have been in contact with the Irishman, still supposedly employed remotely by the Rugby Football Union (RFU).

time-read
2 mins  |
November 13, 2024