The 27-year-old Brazilian electrician, who was not carrying a backpack, was on his way to work when two firearms officers fired seven bullets into his head and one into his shoulder after they mistook him for a suicide bomber.
The incident at Stockwell underground station on 22 July 2005 sparked one the biggest crises in British policing, culminating in the Metropolitan Police being fined £560,000 for endangering the public.
Speaking out for the first time in a new documentary ahead of the 20th anniversary of the shooting, the firearms officer known as C12 has admitted he has no intention of ever meeting De Menezes’s family, fearing the emotional impact could “make my life a bit unbearable”.
He described the constant worry as like a “weeping sore” but said the Brazilian man’s family were the real victims.
“I’m suffering in a way, but in no way would I count my suffering as their suffering,” he said. “At the moment the person that I shot, I can’t really remember them, I don’t remember any facial features so in a way it’s lessened the potential impact it’s had on me.
“And I don’t think I would like to open any closets which would make my life a bit unbearable. I know that sounds really, really selfish but that’s how I feel. I have been brutally honest about why we did what we did. I just hope they are words enough to explain our actions for that day.”
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