Lee Carsley was preparing to play for Everton’s reserves on a Monday night in 2004 when he received a troubled call from Kevin Kilbane. His teammate had learned that his newborn daughter had Down’s syndome, the same condition as Carsley’s son Connor, and immediately reached out to his friend.
“Once he’d heard the news, he couldn’t play that evening. He left the field at half-time and drove to the hospital to see me,” Kilbane said. “We sat outside, we talked and we cried. It was such an emotional moment for both of us. He communicated with me in a way that I needed because he had experienced what I was going through as a father. He was there for me and he’s always been there for me and that’s why I love him so much.”
Carsley has said the arrival of Connor, the second of his three children, in 1999 made him “a lot more aware of the bigger picture, the bigger world”. In rushing to support Kilbane, he demonstrated a degree of compassion that should not be taken for granted at the highest level of football, where players’ personal difficulties can often be brushed aside in favour of getting on with it.
Kilbane’s story goes a long way to explaining why Carsley — England’s interim manager, who will lead the Three Lions for the third time against Greece at Wembley tonight — is not just an impressive tactician, but a seemingly universally well-liked character as well.
‘A thinker and a doer’
Carsley led England’s Under-21s to the European Championship in 2023, doing what Gareth Southgate’s seniors and the Lionesses could not by beating a highly-fancied Spain side in the final.
His side played attractive, attacking football and there was evidence of his fluid approach in his first England games in charge, last month’s wins over the Republic of Ireland and Finland.
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