I like to think there was a time when Britain was normal. I can't imagine it ever was, but at least people didn't queue in pubs. These days that's exactly what's happening - drinkers standing in single file up to the bar as if they're waiting for a terrible coffee in Pret, or to place their order for a medium-hot half chicken at Nando's.
It's been going on for a while now, these nonsensical pub queues. Many have commented, questioning why and how humanity has fallen to such delinquency.
Until now, I've been holding my tongue, because I didn't really believe it was such an issue. I refused to believe it was happening. Drinkers may queue for airport bars or at some pitiful Travelodge in Swindon, possibly even at gigs at large concert venues, but surely not in everyday boozers or London bars? For shame, it's real. A tour of the X account @QueuesPub shines a sad spotlight on it all in its campaign to end what I suppose is a consequence of Covid. Then, queuing was necessary remember those pandemicinfused obstacle courses, those duct-taped corridors in white and red leading up to coffee machines? - and it has carried on.
"We queue for the bus, or for the checkout, not at bars," decries the @QueuesPub page.
"Message in your photos." And there are so many photos, from Hull to Leighton Buzzard, documenting a very real and disquieting crisis: I've seen some lines weaving out the door as expectant, supposedly polite (I think it's all a showy ruse) British punters line up and wait, probably tutting, for their Madri and sauvignon blanc.
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Why are England wasting time waiting for Tuchel?
Winning the World Cup is the aim, so the new boss should start now
He's been shot, and punched by Mike Tyson, but British boxing's great survivor is back on top and aiming to rule the world
This is where the magic happens,\" reads a big neon sign scrawled across the entrance to the offices of arguably the most powerful man in British boxing today.
How Sketch went from 'obscene' to era-defining
After arocky start, the glamorous and infamous restaurant is now an institution
Money is worth less than time'
He's quit Fendi, but what will Kim Jones do next?
London's Roman Amphitheatre
Guildhall Yard, EC2V
Liberals didn't notice they'd lost relevance in the all-consuming digital sphere
There are many reasons why Donald Trump might have won the election last week.
Do we have to die?
One neuroscientist thinks the answer is no
How to have a magical Christmas in Edinburgh
From cosy cobblestone streets to abundant Yuletide goings-on, few cities rival the Scottish capital in creating Christmas whimsy.
London's best festive restaurants
The social season is upon us once more. These are the city’s most coveted Christmas venues, which need to be booked soon so as to not miss out on the tinsel and tipples.
Rag'n'Bone Man
I struggle with being recognised... I'll never really feel comfortable with it'