Darren, 43, was sitting on the 149 bus scrolling through Instagram when something unusual caught his eye. There, among the aspirational patisserie and retro football reels, was a little portal into Threads, the social media network launched by Instagram’s parent company Meta in July 2023.
Darren had joined Threads when it launched, more in dismay at what Elon Musk had done to Twitter than any great faith in Mark Zuckerberg’s rival vision. He hadn’t used it much since. He was using Instagram less, truth be told. But when he did, he’d noticed the teaser adverts for Threads appearing with increasing frequency. And there was something about this particular post that demanded a response.
“It was just some dude I’d never heard of saying: ‘Name a better Nineties album[sic] than Limp Bizkit’s Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water, I’ll wait’,” says Darren. “I know it was dumb. I know this person was basically trolling. ‘I’ll wait’ is such a huge red flag. But… I just couldn’t let that stand.”
Before he knew precisely what he was doing, Darren had entered the portal and engaged. “I can’t believe I wasted precious minutes of my life on that shit,” he says.
Darren has asked for his name to be changed. But he is sharing his story in the hope that other Londoners do not make the same mistake. For there are thousands, perhaps millions, who have been drawn into similarly inane exchanges on Threads — which seems to exist solely in order to lure innocent users into banal disagreements about stuff that doesn’t matter.
The engagement business
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